Touch Everywhere you want...Just Not ME!!!!

I swear, if one of those creepers from Galetti's Touching Everywhere squad comes near me...

Anyway, I've got a rematch with what was once Killin' the Kitties (by 3 points) to the newly named Touching Everywhere, which will probably change before this is posted. What more can be said about this team filled with Michigan Alums? You've got Braylon "I pick fights with kids in a club and lead the league in dropped passes" Edwards. Steve "I wish I had some" Breaston(s). Charles "Steve Smith burned me last year and I've got the burn marks to prove it" Woodson. It's like the ghetto version of the Three Stooges, except with no Moe, because everyone likes Moe...But, it really does make sense that a team called Touching Everywhere would be represented by a few Wolverines...

Oh, but Brian, you are starting Jake "The Fake" Delhomme...Delhomo...Jake GOhomme...Mark my words, and I will eat them if I'm wrong...Jake Delhomme will only throw 3 INTs this week...so I'm good, right????

Am I sweating the Touching Everywhere's? Nah....not a all.

Touchdown....There????

Devin Dummel, I find it interesting that you would call yourselves "Touchdown There". Ha ha. That's me laughing cause it's actually funny. At 1-6, that would describe your season pretty well. There have been lots of Touchdowns There...you know, on the other side of the field.

Hey, Devin, do you remember that guy Brett Favre? The guy who had an amazing season and then when traded, scores less than 2 points the next week for his new team? Thanks for that, Mr. Dummel. There's a little thing called "Payback" and some would call her a bitch.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking...but, Bry Guy, you are only 2-5, so what are you talking stuff for? Well, I've got an answer in the form of a question for you. Do you like apples? I'm twice better than you so far this year...how do you like them apples?

I have other incentives to tanning your hide this weekend. You've got this QB, goes by the name of Drew Brees. He quarterbacks the New Orleans Saints, you know the team that's already been crowned champions midseason? I hate Drew Brees and I hope to see lots more of that (up top) in his near future. In short, "F" Drew Brees!

Be seein' you...

I don't believe in this place...I don't believe in Neverland

Who's next??? Oh, it's the Neverland Ranchhands. You know them, they're that team that's been giving Brokeback Mountain a run for it's money. It appears that these Ranchers where once normal, straight laced guys, but some Phillies broke their hearts when they took them to Neverland, a spot that Michael Jackson often held "special" events for the Ranchhands. The women freaked when they saw what was going on and no woman would even get close to the poor Ranchers ever again. Really, it breaks my heart.

In response, the Ranchhands owner Mr. Riehle made this statement to women everywhere:

"You're just being ignorant."

That's not all. Oh, no, sir. It gets much better.

Apparently, Mr. Jackson sang a special song for the Ranchhands before his passing...



Sit up in that wishing tree and wish for a win all you want, Ranchhands, but you know what's going to happen this weekend.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

If you don't like Delhomme, then "F***" YOU!

I'm Jake Delhomme and I'm tired of all this nonsense. That's real cute, Mr. Farris, going after me in a moment of weakness. You know what, so what if I have 9 turnovers in just 4 games so far? Hell, so what if I had 5 in one game against Arizona in the playoffs? I went from undrafted QB to SuperBowl QB who almost won it. I've got 18 come from behind drives in the 4th quarter, and counting.

Here's a lesser known fact, I breed horses in Louisiana. This one's named Unzip Me, and he's my gift to the Conquistadors. Have fun...



I'm all heart, baby, just watch this play.



So, in closing, if you don't like Jake Delhomme, then "F" YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Don't Say We Didn't Warn You...